Counting down the hours...

Dearest Baby Girl,

Well you and I are here in Colorado getting prepped for our very first surgery which is scheduled for Thursday at 7:30 AM. This past week has been a flurry of hustle and bustle. Last Sunday all 3 of us left to drive to Laramie, WY where I got to meet many wonderful people from your Dad's mission. I love seeing how excited your Dad get's when he talks about people from his mission, and to get to meet some of the people I had heard about was such a fun experience. Once you are older we'll have to make another trip so you can meet these wonderful people too.

Come Monday we headed South into Colorado and continued to stop and see cherished friends along the way. Your Dad was on cloud 9 the entire time. By Wednesday we had made our way to Denver for a full day of testing and meetings. First on the agenda was another MRI. I wish I could say you behaved much better for this one but you didn't, and that's okay. They even made me fast before the testing hoping that it would help you hold still, but you have a knack for doing things your own way and not giving anyone too easy of a time. After a quick bite of lunch we headed back upstairs for your fetal echo. In this appointment  the doctor said you were a "shining example of a perfectly developed heart." (We were so proud...and relieved!) You didn't want to hold very still for your echo either but cooperated a little more, probably because you were tired from wiggling so much during your MRI! Last, we went for the ultrasound. We got to see your wiggly little body and legs that were kicking all the more every second. Even though you were kicking a lot we were able to take a look at your feet and the nurse commented that you had very long feet and toes just like me! Then we got to the best part. We got to get a 3D scan of your precious face. It has to be the best 3D ultrasound I have ever seen because we can see your features so clearly! You definitely have your Dad's lips and chin, and we're thinking Grandma Woodard's nose. But during the scan you wanted to keep your hands by your face and there was no way you were going to move them, but that's okay, your hand is just in the scan too (but it's a little distorted because you kept moving your fingers). I sit every night and look at that picture of you. You are the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen and I can hardly wait to see you in person (but I can wait for you to keep cooking, so don't start getting any ideas of coming early).

Look how cute you are!

Finally we sat down with the entire surgical team including Dr Crombholme, the chief surgeon, the neurosurgeon, Dr Handler, one of the maternal fetal specialists, Dr Reeves, the neonatologist, Dr Reynolds, a couple of the level 3 nurses, and the radiologist. The Geneticist and Fetal Cardiologist were supposed to come but since we already met with a geneticist and your amnio came back normal and your heart was in perfect condition they didn't have to come into the meeting. Once being sat down we went over everything. They determined that your lesion is between L1 and L2 (a little higher than we were originally told) and ended at S1. Your ventricles are still enlarged at but hadn't changed really from your last MRI (which is good). You still have wonderful movement in your lower extremities, and no clubbing of your feet. First we went through treatment for you postnatally if we decided not to do the fetal surgery, and possible outcomes. Then we went over the risks to you and I for the fetal surgery and possible outcomes of that. Basically there would be a 50% reduction in your chances for needing a shunt (but there is always that possibility), decreased hind-brain herniation, and increased chance of ambulation (walking) (but that could be short term since this surgery is so new they aren't sure how kids do once they get older and are growing as well as gaining weight.) The risks include (but are not limited to) a 13% chance of you being born before 28 weeks (don't even think about it little one!), 46% of being born before 34 weeks, a 50% of water breaking prematurely, herniation of the uterus, low fluid levels the rest of pregnancy, and a very small risk of you being born during or shortly after surgery (again don't get any ideas...I mean it). Also, to my relief, we found out that your pain receptors aren't quite developed yet so you shouldn't have a painful recovery from this surgery.

Following the consultation your Dad and I had a lot to think about, but after some serious thought and prayer we feel so strongly that this is what we are supposed to do for you, and we want to give you the very best opportunities we can before you are born. We pray that we will be able to prevent shunt surgeries, orthopedic surgeries for clubbed feet, and possibly even help you have normal urinary and bowl functioning. Although we could potentially get none of the benefits we feel strongly that this is what is best for your situation.

The next day we had a couple of morning one-on-ones with another Maternal Fetal Specialist, Dr Zaransky, the social worker, and the neonatologist, Dr Reynolds. The neonatologist told us more specifics on premature birth and what that could mean for you short term and long term. Since you are so healthy and of a good weight, if you were to be born during the s

urgery you would have a 70-80% survival rate, but with that only a 15% chance of normal cognition without any delays....and then the numbers just go up from there for each week you keep cooking.

First pair of maternity clothes!!

Shortly after the last meeting, I had to take your Dad to the airport to catch a flight back to Salt Lake since he had to teach that night, pulled an all night-er and took a test for school Friday morning, teach Saturday morning, then stake conference meetings the rest of the day Saturday, labs on Monday, and teaches again Tuesday. Wednesday morning he will fly back to Denver where we will be waiting for him and we will have our final meeting with the surgical team. Then be back to the hospital for our surgery at 5:30, so we can be in the OR ready to go by 7:30 am. In the mean time we were blessed enough to get into the Ronald McDonald House here in Aurora and have been able to make friends with some truly kindred spirits as well as get to know some people in the ward (which is an amazing ward!), go to the temple, go to get our steroid shots so your lungs can be a little more developed in case anything happens, and I got to buy some maternity clothes because you are now growing like a weed! AND we've finally started gaining weight! I was worried it'd never happen.

I ache to see your Dad and hate being away from him but this experience of being here has been good. I have had to really rely on the Lord for peace and comfort. I feel like I should be much more nervous about this (and I worry for you always) but I have felt totally at peace, especially since Monday. I know we are making the right decision otherwise I know I would not have this peace and calm washing over me. The Lord knows us and has encircled us with his love. Your Dad and I love you more than we could even comprehend and that love grows day by day. You are our amazing little miracle and we cannot wait to see how many wonderful things you're are going to do with your life.

Keep on kicking those legs!

All my love,

Mom